I was ready for bed when the Kantowicz’s called and got me all awake again. And Shaylah, Kele De and Lilo are hogging so much of the bed that I can only fit one leg on right now and they are too cute to move. So a brief post on things I find entertaining right now.

How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You

“Sitting On Top Of The World” by Garrison Keillor

16 Funny Senior Portraits I totally need to dig up my photo with the ladder AND balloons!

Shaylah just hopped off the bed to push her water fountain around with her head. That means there’s room for me in the bed! Goodnight!

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Too tired to even shrink the photo. The contractors have begun work on the inside and we have two rooms demolished. The two rooms that we stored a huge amount of stuff in. So now all that stuff is shoved into every corner of the house. Literally. There’s stuff in the bathroom. My wedding dress is in the pantry. The fancy mirror I bought 4 years ago but never hung up is behind the hallway door. It’s next to impossible to move in the house. On the good front it’s the perfect opportunity to sort through stuff and get rid of more more more.

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So my sister calls and invites me to go make a wooden spoon.

Carving with a Coal
Sunday,November 9 . . . . . 1-2:30 pm
Join a Master Outdoorsman to learn how
to make a wooden spoon by whittling and
finishing with a burning ember.

OK. What the hell. I like burning things so this afternoon I headed over to the Nature Center which is pretty close to my house. The room quickly fills up with families and we gather around the fire and watch the master woodsmen hack away at a piece of wood with an axe while he tells stories. For an hour. Then it’s finally our turn. We are given a spoon base and we head outside into the freezing tundra and gather around a fire to be handed our embers. You place the burning ember on the base and blow on it to keep the fire burning.

Every little while you scrape out the burned section and add a fresh coal.

I nearly set myself on fire trying to take the photos while holding on to the ember. It takes forever to make a spoon and I can’t even begin to imagine what it must take to make a canoe this way. Now I need to buy a little axe so I can chop up my old tree branches and make my own utensils out in the backyard around the fire pit.

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Midwest Melissa and I headed downtown on a chilly Friday night to catch the opening of “Party of One” at the Cultural Center.

PARTY OF ONE CHICAGO PREMIERE!
Written by Noel Williams and Sue Morrison
Directed by Sue Morrison

Presented by Noel Williams

November 07, 2008 — November 24, 2008
Studio Theater
$20; $15 for students and seniors

Journey through the psyche of Captain Melisande Blue in Noel William’s award winning Pochinko clown and Bouffon style show. Packed and ready to go, Mel and her baggage find themselves at a train station exiled for “loving a little too much.” Her divine ride features a feisty turnstile, dinner dates with luggage, and a two and a half foot mini version of “Gone with the Wind.” A Fringe Festival favorite throughout the county, this will be the first time the full show has been seen in Chicago.

I can not recommend this show enough! Now I know that a “clown show” might not sound great to a lot of people but you need to put the circus clown stereotypes aside and sit back and enjoy this ride. From the Moment (and I capitalize Moment on purpose) Noel William stumbles on to the stage she captures the audience and takes them on a roller coaster ride of emotions and laughs. I laughed, I cried, I laughed until I cried. It was spectacular. Don’t miss it!
This was Melissa’s favorite part…

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At work today Mary, Ryan and I were entertained by my multiple hour mix of 80’s MTV The First Five Years. We had it on almost the entire day and we were still only on K by the time I left for the night. It was a delightful day of nostalgia which goes perfectly with the fact that suddenly everyone I went to high school with seems to have found me on Facebook. But that’s another story. I am here now to tell you that I have found the new grossest song ever. We heard it in the B’s. Bryan Adams “I Wanna Be Your Underwear”.

I wanna be your t-shirt when it’s wet - I wanna be the shower when you sweat
I gotta be the tattoo on your skin - yeah lemme be your bed baby - when you climb in
I wanna be the sheets when you sleep - let me be the secrets that you keep
I gotta be the spoon - ta stir your cream
I wanna be the one that really makes you scream

I wanna be - your lipstick when ya lick it
I wanna be - your high heels when ya kick it
I wanna be - your sweet love babe - ya when you make it
from your feet up to your hair - more than anything I swear
I wanna be - your underwear

I wanna be the itch that you scratch - wanna be the chair when you relax
I gotta be your razor when you shave
I wanna be the habit that really makes you crave

I wanna be - your hot tub - when you’re dippin’
I wanna be - your bathrobe - when you’re drippin’
I wanna be - your cocktail baby - when you’re sippin’
I just wanna be right there - more than anything I swear
I wanna be - your underwear

I wanna be your sleeping bag - baby slip inside
Let me be your motorcycle n’ take you for a ride - alright

I wanna be - your hot sauce - ya when you’re cookin’
I wanna be - your sunglasses - hey good lookin’
I wanna be - wanna be the one - you’re stick your hook in
I just wanna be right there - more than anything I swear
Oh ya I wanna be - your underwear

“I wanna be your razor when you shave?” Really? Oh Bryan Adams you sick little Canadian monkey.

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Thanks McDrama!

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The first ones arrived at 4:50pm and we finally shut down the lights at 9pm after 292 trick or treaters. This year we handed out candy, mini play doh and halloween pencils. Holy crap do kids get excited over pencils!
This year I was a Sea Queen

Meet my octopus minion!

Lilo was a very bored Mermaid

John had his cape and medallion but the highlight was his light up wand thingie. When he went to pick up the pizza about 3 blocks away he grabbed a plastic bag and trick or treated his way there and back. Seriously. My husband went trick or treating. On the way back he carried the pizza and would stop at the houses and say “I’m a pizza delivery guy..(then he would hit his light up wand and say, “from the FUTURE!”

I was disappointed by the lack of houses that were decorated or even handing out candy this year. There were only 4 on our block! Next year I am writing a piece for the community newsletter telling people to get out there and hand out some candy! Sure, I was tired and didn’t really feel it at first but it’s so fun for the kids.

I made a few kids cry because they thought I was scary. Our house is pretty covered by trees and bushes so they couldn’t see me until they step through the archway and I admit I looked a little eerie. My favorite moment was I saw a group of 14 year old hooligans coming my way. They had on pseudo costumes and looked a little scary and tough. I was all like, “here we go” and put my camera away and stood up to greet them. As soon as they saw me one of them yelled, “I’m not going there she’s fucking scary!” and they all ran. I scared a gang of 14 year old boys! Awesome.

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